Random musings

You have to love the honesty of children.  I received the type of feedback I needed on how they took to the tabletop gaming session.

So let me set the stage briefly, I setup a short series of encounters and a quick story to give them a taste of the game and see how they would respond.  As we were playing, and we had a hard stop because it was a school night, there were plenty of enthusiastic ideas and excitement about the process of RPG’ing.  Often times the suggestion was throwing a fellow party member overboard followed by laughter and grins.

At the end of the session, I stated that we were coming to our stop time and that I had hoped that everyone enjoyed the game.  The key three kids who were being introduced to RPG all collectively gave me the “awwwwwwwww!”.

Success!  :)

I’m about to embark on a journey which will carry me down a path I have not visited in years.  My neighbor and good friend approached me today about getting a tabletop RPG, well, on the table.  :)

I’ve been asked to host a Dungeons and Dragons style game.  And while I’m all for it and volunteered to have something setup for a holiday-edition game by Monday, I can’t help but thinking what the hell am I doing?  Setting up a game for 3 kids and 2 adults in less than a day when I haven’t been keeping myself current on the rules?

Eh, I’m nagging.  Whatever.  It will be fun.

I started playing RPG’s when I was in the 3rd grade.  Now I’ll be bringing that same joy (hopefully) to a new generation of gamers in the making.  They are used to PC-based RPG’s and MMO’s, so this should be fun to see how they take to it when it is their own imagination and creativity that bring forth the fun rather than a PC.  All of them are excited by the prospect.  So here we go…

There is something truly amazing about the process of mentoring.  You get to craft something intangible and wonderful in the makeup of another soul.  And if it is done right, it is indeed a wonder to behold.

You start with a concept.  Simple, pure and innocent.  You then introduce the individual to the concept sometimes plainly, sometimes abstractly.  Then you plant seeds in them on how they might want to consider tackling such an objective but you do not just give them the answer.  Then you sit back and watch them work out the challenge you’ve laid before them.

Cognitive processes fire, you see the person connect the dots from A to B to C, on down the line to the final objective Z.  Sometimes you need to interject somewhere along the path, perhaps point L or T to help correct course.  But you let them take the journey.  You are watching them learn.  The proverbial light appears and is gravitated towards.  And if you’ve done your job right, they arrive no worse for wear and better off for having taken the journey.  

And should the job have been done exceptionally well?  The individual completing the journey arrived there without realizing they’ve been guided.  It is about subtly pulling the strings, dropping in a subtle or disguised clue and making sure the path ahead is lightly dusted with disguised bread crumbs to keep the traveler on the track.

When you observe the satisfaction in your mentored soul, it nourishes your own.

When one accomplishes a major milestone, it is usually a reason to feel jubilant or even celebratory.  Today I feel neither despite the significant accomplishment that has finally fallen.  And in the end, I can only look back at the last year of my life and wonder what the hell it was all for.

Kicking, scratching, clawing - doing anything I can to make this project successful.  Working incredibly long hours, several weekends.  Dealing with an adversarial vendor through negotiations.  It all piled up and amounted to simply too much for one person to undertake.

One year.

I actually never thought I had it in me.  I’ve never aspired to write a novel, and have had no intention of putting word to paper in long form.  It is just something that I didn’t feel was in the cards for me.

But as I look back at this last year, I’ve written a 300+ page thesis.  Does it qualify as a magnum opus?  Hell I hope not.  Who ever thought a business contract could be referred to with such eloquence?  Not I!

One year.

It was a year without much by way of hobbies, social interaction or really much of anything.  Ever since I got back from Europe in July of last summer, it has been full throttle on a hell project that started before my vacation ever began.  

My personal projects?  Who has time for that.  

Keeping up with all of my friends?  Who has time for that.

Feeding my brain something new to exercise it?  Who has time for that.

Maintaining physical fitness?  Who has time for that.

Spending real quality time with the family?  Unfortunately who has time for that.

I can go on and on in this line, and as I re-read them they all wrap of excuses.  But today marks the real turning point.  The contract has been executed.  I can put it to rest.

And now that I have spent one year of my life that I cannot get back on this project, I’m left trying to pick up the pieces that are my real life.  I’m not sure where to begin, but it is a journey I’m undertaking starting with today.  I thank my wife and friends for understanding and being patient with me.  I indeed appreciate this fact more than words can express.

It has been a while.  I guess you could say that I have been away, hiding from this place I used to call home.  I’ve managed to bury myself under piles of paper, bureaucracy and bullshit.  Translation?  Work.

My commitment going forward?  To not let it control my entire life.  It has left me in a state of mind where I feel as though I am just going through the motions.  I’m not answering any of my creative vices which are screaming at the top of their muted lungs.

I need to feed that part of my soul.  And I shall re-engage in that with which I love.

Sorry for the radio silence.  It ends today.  And so I am dipping my proverbial big toe back into the waters to test the temperature and my temperament.  They seem in harmony so lets see where this goes again.

In 2011? That only gives me 20+ days to chose from. Hmm… That one is tough.

I think I’ll go with an event where I and a handful of my friends ventured down to Korean BBQ in Los Angeles at a place called Road to Seoul. There was plenty of drinking and good food to go with large laughs and generally obnoxious behavior by all. It was a great way to let off some steam and just enjoy good company and fun conversations.

When I couple this with a previously answered question you posed to me, I have to say this type of activity is something that I need to make more time for. And I hope to have several other quick stories to recount of a similar topic. :)

I’m game for most anything, ask away. The identity however stays private. :)